Mariah Carey
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Think before you speak, Mimi. Relating skinny people to poor starving children is no way to earn points.

Barbara Bush
 "So many of the people in the arenas here were under-privileged anyway. This is working very well for them."

She said this is 2005 when Katrina hit. I should blame this on her age, right? Wait, I have had 80 year old relatives who know what they're saying, so....

Tara Reid
"I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist."

Congrats! You just proved to us all why you are on this list.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
 "I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."

I don't think he...does he?..I, uh...he runs the 5th largest economy in the world.
 Linda Evangelista
"I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to."

Last time I checked, that was called a "diet".

Paris Hilton
"I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid."

I'm pretty sure that if you have to refrain from taking your top off to prove that you are smart, you've got bigger problems, Paris.

Jon Gosselin
“People think I have changed, and I have changed. I’m now the person I know I am.”

Thanks for that nugget of universal truth, Popeye.

Sarah Palin
When asked what news outlets she reads, she says "all of them. When asked what specific books she reads...guess what? All of them!
Britney Spears
 "I get to go overseas places, like Canada."

She has children that learn things from her. A bunch of them.

Jessica Simpson